Opening Up My Heart

I’m learning lately, or rather You're teaching me about opening up my heart to people.

If I just spend time with people, care about their concerns, talk with them, listen to them. . .even just suffer with them (as in the case of med school and studying - a very unique, minimally painful, form of suffering) relationships can be built.

I'm becoming closer and more involved in people's lives than ever before in my life, even during my time at the Honor Academy.  The HA pushed us to "open up" and "be vulnerable" with others.  I wasn't all for that.  I didn't trust people (and still don't), and I didn't think it necessary to verbalize my every thought or short-coming.

The reality of my life is, I have a heart for people.  I love people.  I want to understand them, see things from their perspective, alleviate any suffering they endure, encourage them, and ultimately show them the true Love that continually changes my life.

Sometimes, however, actually more often than not, I let my own insecurities keep my heart closed, afraid of what people might see, what they might think.  Not caring what people think is a pretty constant thread throughout my life, but I usually accomplish that by keeping my distance.

But it's so beautiful when I don't!  I love people.  I love, love, love them!

You're changing my heart.  Putting Your love in it.  Giving me a thirst for You and giving me a desire to show people your love.

But I think there's another aspect of making my heart like yours.

You desire fellowship.  You want close relationships.  You want to know people.

I'm realizing that more and more these days, so do I.  I think it's because you're changing my heart.

Change it, Lord.  Keep changing it.  I don't want any part of my selfish self left.  I want to love people like You love them, so much that You died.  I want to heal people like You healed them, because You had compassion on them.  I want to save people like You save them, selflessly, and completely driven by love.

Then I look at it from other perspectives, and I don't feel like I have the strength to do what I realize Your calling me to do during this time in my life.  I don't have the capacity, the knowledge.  Yet You've called me to it.  So what can I do but obey?

And to You, obedience is greater than sacrifice.